Wednesday, 16 July 2008

"A VERY FINE PUBLICATION!"

Those of you who listened to Russell Brand on BBC Radio 2 the other night will have heard the refreshingly lively comedian refer to our beloved magazine as, "the Hampstead Village Voice, a very fine publication!" 

Hoorah for you Monsieur Brand for giving us our first national on air recognition. And on old Auntie Beeb, too! Well played old bean and you can be assured of vast amounts of praise and back scratching in our next issue, including a well positive review of your My Booky Wook wot I read on holiday and how it actually saved my life. Well, it certainly got me through a rather traumatic experience. So thanks for that Geezah. 

TTFN,
Emmanuel Mustafa Goldstein III
Editor in Tea Person
PS. Apparently, Gary Crowley mentioned us on GLR too, but he doesn't really count cos he's not nearly as lovable or funny as Russell B.

Wednesday, 9 July 2008

Himm & Heill shameless attack on Hampstead Village Voice delivery boy

Revealed! The true identity of Emmanuel "Mustafa" Goldstein 

One might be forgiven for thinking the Himm & Heill, reacted somewhat un-intelligently to the two page wrist-slapping we gave them in the summer edition of the Hampstead Village Voice (Now available at Hampstead news agents) over their decision to advertise for den Britischen Nazional Partei

Strangely, they went for a personal attack on our delivery boy, Sebastian, who also makes the tea and puts up posters on a voluntary basis. Apparently they are under the impression that poor Sebastian is in fact Editor of the Hampstead Village Voice and accused him of "hiding under a veil of anonymity" and "being libelous" in a recent H&H. 

The poor lad, a dyslexic from the impoverished slums of Well Walk can't even spel proparly.

Further more, the Britischen Nazional sympathetic Himm & Heill go on to threaten our penniless and destitute delivery boy with "writs coming through his letter box".  Oooh, you big bullies! 

Impersonal note to Himm & Heill: listen chaps, there's no need for this name and shame gutter press stuff. And lay off our delivery boy or else we'll, er...we'll, uhm...tell his big bruvver who's like well hard! Of course we satirized you and your publishers Arschants for advertising (and therefore encouraging) a fascist party. I mean were we supposed to ignore it? Of course not. What did you expect? But it's nothing personal. Just business. Neither your editor or delivery boy were mentioned by name because we adhere to a "principles before personalities" code of misconduct. Were you to consider a similar policy, you might win some of your friends back by being nice and lovely like wot we are!

Yours Unfaithfully and big Kisses,

Mwah!

E.M. von Goldstein
Emmanuel "Mustafa" Goldstein
True & Supreme Editor in Chief of Tea & Biscuits who is in no way related to anyone called Sebastian or Marjory or Selwin.